My heart is just swelling with pride today. First Steps came back out again today to see where Joey is at. She was shocked and impressed at how far he’s come even just since the last time she saw him. As she interacted with him and asked me questions, she determined that he is really exactly where he should be for his actual age. A very healthy 5.5 month old. She even said if she didn’t know and hadn’t heard his whole story, she’d never believe he was so premature and has bleeds in his brain. The developmental pediatrician had the same impression last week too.
As his mom, this filled me up big time. My days and nights with him are hard and long. Most days suck every ounce of life out of me by the time I finally lay down for the night. He is incredible, and exhausting. He is perfect, and needy. Being his mom is the greatest gift, and the hardest challenge. And to know that my efforts with him are helping… It just makes it all worth it. And to see how far he’s come… I am so proud of him.
I have started putting together a scrapbook for him (side note: LOVE Project Life! more on that later). It is still hard to look at pictures from his first few days. I hold a heavy guilt knowing that it was my body that failed him. He was warm and comfortable in his perfect home, and my body failed him. I know it wasn’t my fault, nothing I did on purpose, but oh how I wish he could have stayed inside. I felt like I set him back, set him up for failure, and placed a burden in his life he would need to overcome. Well, you know what, this boy is an overcomer. It heals my heart to see him so whole. To see tiny miracles in him daily.